Rusty Trumpet Friend.

Jack Reilly saved in ma phone as 'Topman Twat' what a chav, i mean seriously wog jogs the lot even got a Staffy called Frank he makes tupac look white. I once saw him fight his own mum, grappled her to the floor choke locked she passed out, he duck taped her so she couldnt move just because she called him an indie queen. Hes so fucking crazy he thought itd be a good idea to have a shesh at his nanas. Where to start with this. Right. So. We rescued Alex the Milfhunter from his house, someone called a hit on him and he ended up getting hit by a van, Milfhunter got a cage on his leg like a transformer crow but he wrote the van off so he won really, so we rolled crowformer out his house and down to jacks nanas.
Milfhunter breaking free.....ME and Milfhunter playing fifa
i dont know what was going on here
So after we raided the sweety cupboard, we got fokked christmas mead was particularly tasty. Charlie quinn was busy living up to her chain smoking ways ahaha Edd and Beth came down. Beth used to hate me caus i nutted a cake she made for some latvian whores birthday. Edd was kind enough to help me polish off some dog biscuits that fell on the floor, found out i could get 23 in my mouth, Milfhunters foot went pruple so we stored him inside. Mitch and Evan had a wheely off, i just fell off alot. We burnt jacks books nazis style. Moved inside, me and mitch made a pack to either get really fucked or sleep, so its 5 in the morning mitch has been wheeling for 29 minutes christmas meads all gone and we decide to make a sweet really fluffy by rolling over it with the wheelchair and feed it to ean while he's asleep, ended up just rubbing it on his lips.

Chav jack after a hard shot of heroin
Mitch jus... i dont actually know.

Me having nothing to do but mostly being really weird, started surprizing rob after his parents go to work by throwing mud at his till he lets me in, where i cook him breakfast summer times ey this time rob thought he could handle it shouldve seen the piece of shit he fed me that he called an egg.

Lengendary Jizzzzzzz pillow, Rob used to just wank all over this the lazy cunt. for about 2 years it was covered in stain, then randomly last week it got cleaned ahahahaha sue touched robs manfoam too much parent bonding there.


Got a Bouncy Castle, she my little sisters effa ass just before she nutted the floor on the other side ahaha

Waht a tramp, pickin up dog poo

After me and ross had bumsex
Well yea thats me, candle in bum n'all. Started getting randomly naked and surprizing people, never even met steph before so i thought id surprize her when she walked out the room, candle was just the icing on the cke.






Sick munch, Fried the fok out of it.


Daily POO

Well i did have a photo here about 2 minutes ago, what the fuck. dinners cooked and i cba to upload it again, it was only some little streaky poo.


Well all in all pretty sick summer. not gonna lie.

PEACE x

Busi fokking LAD

Welllllll dennn, it's been along time since i last posted so many a fun thing has happened. I shaved my head... for the crack, i look like i have leukemia like this poor girl below who seems to be whipping up some cupcakes, fair pliy i liv 4 cpcks. But i looked alot like her not gonna lie. The navy things going well just got back from portsmouth doing my AIB met some sound kids there, left the mother of all durrrrty shits in the staff toilets it looked like horse shit like propa lumpy muesli feulled toilet fun and of course BIG T, TONI, SEXPEST soundest petty officer going. fucking died in the fitness test.

i never got that love and respect when i got my head shaved, i got HAHAHA '' OI CHARLIE U LUK LYK U GT CANCER OR SUMMIT'' ''OI CHARLIE U JUST GOT OF A CONCENTRATION CAMP'' ''OI CHARLIE U UGLY CUNT'' ''AUTSWITZ ISNT FUN CHARLIE'' The best bits pretending im really fuckin hard, i just walk down the str33t and own it, i heckle groups of plus 30 chavs like WHUT BLUD U FUKIN LUKIN AT ME?!

one day its obv gonna back fire and im going to die.

I've also got big on ficebook rows and killed off ruth bailey and some guy who tried telling me that his brother whos just got out of prizon was going to kill me, just because i called him 'gay' people these days.

kirsten scott is the fittest milf going, anally, in the ear, anywhere, anytime for this sexy bitch. Just look at her face its like non-verbal flirting shes beggin it, just like megan fox, i come home right and the bitch wont stop texting me shes all like lets met up? i thought you loved me? so i walk upstairs and shes in my bed i just lost it i flipped out enough was enough so i transformed on her ass and kicked her through a wall. MEGATRON STYLE.

one day i will be screamin jay hawkins.

Daily poopy

Todays poo was quite a good one, but one that was after a night out, hence the large amount of urine thats making the poo float around yes your right it does look like a small brain, so my ratings gonna have to be a 8/10. i found out how to zoom my photos ahahaha

GET THE FUCK IN

1000 views wahhhhhhhhh

skaaa

Ghost town, great song.

i munched bare pizza today, tom lane would be proud of the amount of food i've put away. Looking forward to getting my G.C>S>E>.s done caus then i will be free lika bird for the summer. The summer of fun. jk jk it'll probs be the same as last summer. Blew up 3 pigeons today, basically you soak bread in bicarbonate of soda and get the pigeon to eat it give it about a minute and it explodes, cant wait to try it in town. Tried to take a photo of the mess low and behold kathbags sticks her head out the window like 'DONT YOU DARE CHARLES, I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO THOSE POOR PIGEONS' its like she didnt find it funny.

Who wouldnt find that funny?

Cant wait to get out my house this weekend, yes ingurland match!


Daily poopy woop - Todays looks pretty sweaty, look at all the perspiration round the bowl?! dun kno. Can't actually remember doing it either which is weird, right down to the rating, lookin like a bit of a heffadaddy but its all over the place, looks like i've pooed like a sheep. WOundz so its a 7/10

PEACE.

I dont understand.

Why DO women have the vote? i mean they do nothing with it. Now to more pressing news. Why is alright for people to name parts of a mans genetallia (probz spelt dat wrong) like Balls' 'Scrotum' 'Bellend' or for devvo 'Jebend' AH i hear you think. But why is it not alright for people to names parts of a womens area, 'Vagina' 'Clitoris' 'Flappy Bits' 'Inner Flappy Bits' and of course 'Gash' 'Axe Wound' 'C*nt' thats tooo norty to even spell properly but you understand. like for guys its cool to say like 'ARRRGH you full on fucked me in the scrotum you jebend' but its not like you catch many girls like 'ARRRGH you full on Bashed ma Inner flappy bits you Clit faced jew!' unless there full on lebians.



hahahaha Anus, did not know the peepee hole was called a urethral orifice.


I've been watching the football and finally feel like the man i should be, ive been watching all the games in the world cup even though it is well boring, but it means i can talk to LADS about LAD stuff like Green fumbling a shot an epileptic paraplegic clitoris faced jew couldve saved what an inner flappy bit.

another thing ive been finding well funny is jack morton playing with his dog 'Brian' frizbee, football, sprint starts, i sit on my roof and stalk him, you probably dont know him he lives about 5 doors down, what a sound geezer.




i ordered one of these i fink dat is well indie/skinz

PEACE.

Nelson Mandela

what a waster 27 years in prizon, i wouldve shawshank redemptioned that shit, climbed through the poo pipe and ran off he got a statue for it though so fairplay i spose. Don't kno whether to be a hardcore ingurland supporter and buy myself a shirt with 'VASTABLASTA' on the back, ive never bought a football shirt in my life might support like nigeria or something just caus i can.


Nigerian 'soccer' team derkheards no one calls it soccer. Fools. I've been spending alot of time watching t.v and its come to my attention that there are a few ladies that would definately get it in the face or ear im not a FASSYHOLE so no complaints.


Spent ages on photoshop whipping that up, that theirs some girl on freaking blue peter her nungas blates got her the job if i didnt watch blue peter with my little sister i wouldve boxed the snake when she was making bracelets out of pipe cleaners, thats a skill for life. I've been doing exams all this week AND IM MAD FOR IT although its real embarressing when you get a boner at the end of the exam and they let you out and everytime you turn sideways to fit between tables i have to rub my erect penis all over the desk and its not as if you can cover it up, funny in the next exam when you look around and you think wheyyy cock slapped your desk you wanker. Nick and kathbags have been getting out of hand with the whole no t.v revise thing, lucky for me ive got Age Of Empires 2 played 6 hours yesterday this fucking player had these persian war elephants that could just fucking run through walls and shit so annoying, ended up cheating and getting like 20 shooting cars beat the fuck out the elephants and his villagers. Wanker. Town centre? down in about 3 seconds. I've also started skatting.

oh, and i had some navy med test where to start with that. First of all right walked into this place full of some fucking skinead army all hench as fuck chugging back water by the litre reading papers and what not there all like 20 and i walk clearly the weakest/skinnyest/feeblest/piece of shit there, so some indian guy calls me and this other guy into his room, i start shitting it thinking i have to get my cock out next to this guy whos clearly hung like a horse i was alright though he had to do his urine test first while i got inspected, yea 'inspected' he actually said that thought i was gonna get an ethnic raping, i end up having to do the whole thing in my underwear he goes you got any big scars, ive got some massive one one my knee from when i was a kid and ran into a pot, i was off the loop back then. i couldnt pull my trousers up to my knee so i took them off to this guys pleasure his bushy eyebrows went up and down, ethnic rape was on the cards, he does the whole feel the knockers thing funny thing is ive got the saggiest balls going funny geezer still grabbed then though then he started flicking my cock around with a piece of fucking wood 'checking for infection' yeayea i thought. go for my urine sample so i have to walk through the hospital in my underwear to the mens toilet, which was fucking packed with other 'hench skinead' army guys fully clothed pissing like horses everywhere there was no where to piss so i stood in the middle of the toilet and let rip, didnt know how fast them things fill up. YES I OVERFLOWED. all over my underwear that i had to walk back through the hospital with, the skinead army look stunned. i looked disabled. cba to type anymore. i felt violated though. I passed though.

Daily Poo.

tbf havent blogged in yonks kids and so i've built up some hefty back log of poo data. I've been eating alot of muesli so there kinda nuttay. cba for rating them, though the muesli definately had an effect on the size and weight, ive lost alot of good poos to the u bend this week, you know about the jumbo skids.

PEACE.

Pornhub.

Sick munch. Fried potatoe, fried chickan, french bread and sam TSD MAYU. This is much better www.truckspills.com hah i thought i've had shit days, i mean i think fuck my life when i drop some mayo on the carpet that shit does not scrub out, the more you scrub more it looks like youve wanked on the floor, but these truck drivers fuck me imagine spilling whale guts all over a road. One guy actually did. FHL. Fuck His Life.
mmmm JEGGINZ why dont all women wear them? I was buying some new garmz the other day and i well i picked up these jeans thought saaaand go try these on get matt to check me BOOTAY just in case it looked fat n'all you know how bromance is, no one told me their were like some mo'fucking clingfilm bin liner shiiiiite i got one leg in yea felt close to the leg? put the other in and pretty much lost circulation in my feet, they were megginz man jegginz, matt nearly pooed laughing. Went back in tried to get the fuckers off, when i fell over in the cubicle, but the mo'fucking clingfilm bin liner shiiiiite got stuck on my ankles starting flipping around obviously sounded like matt was trying to park his car in my chocolate lane. walked out got ma swagga owwnnn no one knew. i think. i say that because some kidz were pure staring.


just some cat i caught cotching.

DAILY POO - i know its been a while, but dont worry i have been stooling constantly i just keep forgetting to take photos, you know mum sees the flash sometimes, and i think she reckons im a rentboy but the daily poo must go on. Made a schoolboy mistake today something that no respectable poo blogger should do. I wiped before the photo. Im dissapointed and the unions on my back. Instinct took over i lost control, it was a mistake, but i've learnt something it does definately take away from the beauty of this abstract poo, half of it was all like little nuggets and then like solid poo an deeen more nugar came in, so im gonna give it an average 6/10.PEACE.

12/12/08 GEORGGEEEEEEEEEEE

This girl here, Georgii Poyda-Williams. Has caused me no end of problems. First of all aboutttt 2 years ago i moved into a form with her and we hit it off LARRRRRGE bare flirting in chemistry kno what im saying ;-) a bunsen burner suddenly starts to get saucy, but it turns out shes got a boyf and im scounded. so i wanked everynight using my own tears as lube for about a month. i play best mate for about a year annnna half listening to her woes shoulder to cry on when i really actually wanted her. I was hoping shed realise i'm actually God and run away with me. She hasnt realised quite yet realised this but shes getting there, so ive been playing it real cool right, turns out we've liked each other the whole two years and i wanna rip her clothes off everytime i see her, kinda wish she thought the same but shes getting there as well its getting awkward now when i try and pull her jumper off at school. AAAAND den she starts putting all these saucy photos on facebook what am i supposed to do. rape might be an option here. But i cant ask her out caus i dont wanna hurt her like her ex did, sounds weak dunnit but its true.
Look at her pulling all these sexy poses, shes asking beggin' to get raped.Peace.

Sunny Delight.

remember it? used to chug that shit down at primary school, then they took the fun out. The E numbers i used to go crazy on that, every primary school party was shit unless the D was there. No E's no chuggy. I once saw a girl on D do 10 forward rolls and a big hula hoop and chunder the fuck out of a potted plant wearing a handmade chefs hat. Why cant partys be like that anymore, maybe the funniest thing i'd ever seen at 7 i think a couple of kids actually pooed themselves laughing. I just weed, but hey i was there level. Basically fuckloads of it got spilt in this river in england pretty cool but the fish couldnt handle the e's and died, definition of weak on the D. more i write on this the more i feel like lauren richie.

Just though today be pretty fucking cool to have wings. Volcanic ash aint shit to that badman, or like some bird does a shit on your car? i'd fly the fuck after it and drop a brick on it mid air, endless amounts of benefits... cant be arsed to walk to the spar, flappity flap flap boom yes milk. A swan can break bones with its wings right? i could go through walls with those bastards.

Walking through bulkington the other day pick up some some munch from the spar, just realised how many jippos there actually are about, they say 'mush' alot i dont know what that means but i think its good they all seem to respond to whoever says it? with 'yes mush' is it someones name? or a greeting? name of a caravan? i also saw some jippo argy bargy pretty funny since one of them was wearing a bandana funnily also saying 'mush' they started what looked like hugging on the floor? i obviously shit my pants and waited in the spar with my boost bar. Pussy for life.

ohh and theres bare pigeons having sex in my garden.

ah and no daily poo sorry guys, it was so big it got ubended in one? can't really rate skid marks on ma pan so yea, but i reckon it wouldve been about a 9, no joke like they were full on jumbo jet skids.Peace.

YO D!?

My joe obrieny pic, dont know why im posting this its gay as fuck, im ripping myself as im writing this, fucking jewkid thinks hes a photographer jebend. This blogs shit as it is. meh suck on MA BIG HAIRY JEWBALLZ
jus summin i made, fried chickan,fried bread, pork pie und red SAWCE, and some manky bottom of the pot mayo tasted alright though. Greasy but alright.
LOLUMZ me being bare rebz, got asked to mow lawn, tagged it like a gunman
blowin hoops, dont know just me trying to be cool?